Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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