My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
