He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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