Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
