Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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