he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
