4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
