Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
