Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
