Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
