you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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