My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
