I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
