IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
