I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
do herpes really smell.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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