Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
