If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
