Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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