marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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