Moan for me like Helen Keller
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
