one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
