Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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