I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
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