Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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