Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
