forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
