All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
