so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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