"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
