Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
