That's intense
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
