we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Come on in and take your pants off
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
