So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
