dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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