matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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