Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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