Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
