that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
