What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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