So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
