hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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