I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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