just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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