this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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