Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
