Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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