The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
