I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
