I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
