Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
