gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So apparently I’m into choking now
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
