My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
